If someone close to you has recently passed away, you should consider booking an appointment at one of your local counselling centres. Read on to find out why.
Unresolved grief may cause you to ruin your life
It is very common for people to try to ignore the grief that they experience when someone they love dies. Instead of dealing with it, they often choose to throw themselves into perfecting the funeral arrangements or choose to take on lots of extra responsibilities at work in order to keep themselves so busy that they don't have time to think too much. However, trying to repress your grief in this manner will only work for so long. Eventually, you will find that the emotional pain caused by the passing of your loved one will start to emerge in various forms.
You might, for example, find yourself pushing away your friends and family by ignoring their calls or treating them badly because you are afraid of caring about them too much and experiencing the same grief and pain again if anything ever happens to them. Additionally, you may find yourself engaging in harmful behaviours, like drinking too much alcohol or binge-eating, in order to numb your emotions. This may lead to health or financial problems and (in the case of excess drinking) put your career and relationships in jeopardy. In short, if you don't go to counselling to deal with your grief, your emotional pain may end up having a hugely detrimental impact on your life in the long-term.
Whilst discussing the death of your loved one and talking about your relationship with them, as well as the way in which their passing affected you, will be extremely challenging, it should ultimately help you to process your emotions and move on in a healthy manner.
You can speak to your counsellor about the more complex and difficult parts of your relationship with the deceased person
When someone dies, it is normal for those that knew the deceased to speak kindly about them and to only reminisce about the positive aspects of their personality. However, no-one is perfect and most people have made mistakes or behaved poorly at various points in their lives. If this was the case with your recently-deceased friend or family member, you may find that you have complicated feelings about their passing that you want to talk about.
For example, if your mother or father passed away and you had a tumultuous relationship with them, you may not only experience extreme grief but also resentment and anger, because you never got the chance to resolve the issues that caused your relationship to be so strained. In this situation, it might not be appropriate to talk about these matters with other family members who will also be going through the grieving process. Instead, it might be better to share these thoughts and feelings with a counsellor.
This will allow you to talk about the difficult aspects of your relationship with the deceased and the many complex emotions you are feeling as a result of their death without worrying about upsetting anyone or being harshly judged.